


Nothing Quite Like This

by AriaJoie



Series: A Kiss, Or Two, Or Three [1]
Category: Friends at the Table (Podcast)
Genre: COUNTER/Weight Spoilers, Canon polyamory, F/M, Light Angst, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, The Rapid Evening
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-21
Updated: 2017-12-21
Packaged: 2019-02-18 02:03:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13090110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AriaJoie/pseuds/AriaJoie
Summary: Addax Dawn starts looking and finds more than he’d even dreamed of.





	Nothing Quite Like This

**Author's Note:**

> I recently finished listening to COUNTER/Weight and needed more content for this triad so now here we are.  
> Title from Lavender by Two Door Cinema Club

The first time Addax kissed Jace, it was, well, to be honest it was a little bit ill advised. Jace’s break with Tea had been long and slow and quiet, as deaths sometimes are in space. They were both busy and there was so much training to do and ‘I know I said we’d spend some time together tonight but I’ve got to get up early tomorrow, I’m sorry.’

By the time they actually talked about it being the end, some of the crew was probably under the impression it had happened awhile ago. Addax knew though, noticed the difference immediately. Everyone was spiraling in their own ways on these ships, but when Jace missed an extra meal or two, had bloodshot eyes in the morning for a whole week, made more mistakes during drills, it was hard for Addax to miss.

He went to Jace’s room expecting to give his friend a pep talk, invite him to spend an hour doing something together, let him know he could talk if he needed to. Jace told him to come in when he knocked, but as soon as he looked at his face, Addax knew Jace needed more than that. He asked if he could sit next to him on the edge of the bed, and a moment or two after that they were hugging, Jace’s face pressed into Addax’s shoulder as he took deep shaky breaths. Eventually, as Addax stroked his hair, soft and beautiful under his fingers, Jace seemed to calm, the tension of the mission and the war and Tea leaving him, even if just for this second they shared.

When Jace raised his face, Addax found that he still had a hand on his head, fingers in Jace’s hair and his palm on his cheek. They were close, their bodies still half hugging, and their faces close enough to- well. He couldn’t, right? It wasn’t the moment, right? Jace apparently felt otherwise though, leaning in until Addax could feel his gentle breaths on his face. Closing his eyes and the distance ever so slowly, their lips brushed together, just once, just gently, but enough to bring to life a chemistry that had always been there, waiting for the spark.

It was only, what, two seconds? Not long at all, but when they pulled apart Addax could have sworn he’d been holding his breath for minutes. He let it out, and a laugh tumbled after it, soft and happy and unsure. His smile brought the same from Jace and then they were both laughing, at themselves, with themselves.

“We shouldn’t, right?” Addax asked, his smile still wide across his face.

“No, no, probably not. I still- it would hurt Tea, right now. And I don’t want to do that.” Jace’s smile was just as big though, with no signs of changing.

The both sat there for another moment. Jace’s hand had slid to Addax’s hip at some point, and Addax’s thumb was gently stroking Jace’s cheek.

“Maybe- Maybe after? If we. When.” Addax hesitated, too unsure, too unwilling to raise his own hopes for this suicidal mission but also to be a pessimist in this moment they were sharing.

Jace knew though. He nodded. “Yeah.”

They both smiled again then. It was late, and Addax thought about asking if he could stay, but that was really the same issue. That’s not to say Jace didn’t consider it either.

The next day, Jace came to breakfast, and he even managed to say good morning to Tea.

Was it any surprise, really, that they worked together so beautifully at that final battle? The way they danced together, moving across the sea, always in sync and never doubting that the other had their back. The Apolstolosian forces on Counterweight never stood a chance, really.

And neither did Jace. How do you lose a Divine? How do you lose its Candidate too? One minute Addax had been there, and then there was Weight, and he was gone. Jace had plenty of reasons to seclude himself in the memory den, to relive those days over and over, but he couldn’t pretend that seeing Addax’s face again wasn’t damn near the top of the list.

~~~~~~~~~~~

The first time Addax kissed Jamil, it was, well, honestly under much better circumstances, and maybe even more professional, since at least they weren’t soldiers from different armies.

The two had worked together on several occasions, running ops for the Rapid Evening across the galaxy, and they’d both be lying if they said they didn’t enjoy each other’s company in their off time. Usually they worked well together, planning and executing flawlessly, Jamil’s penchant for data and intel complementing Addax’s ability to hit his mark while avoiding detection. A dozen jobs together now and almost nothing had ever gone wrong. Usually. Almost.

Petrichor had been getting closer, sniffing around planets and people the Rapid Evening would rather have left alone, but that didn’t stop them from running against them when it was necessary. Their intel was good. It had come from high up, and Jamil had double checked it herself. The facility was heavily guarded, but sure enough the gaps were there, barely big enough, but that was all they needed to be. The pair were en route to their objective, a lab that was apparently developing dangerous experimental tech, reportedly something that could be used to sway the masses however Petrichor decided.

They weren’t really that deep in when they hit their first snag. Every other patrol had been mapped accurately, but all of a sudden they were out in the open, desperately running for cover they hadn’t thought they’d need, with the sound of boots just barely around the corner. Backs pressed to a data bank, shoulder to shoulder, trying not to breathe too loudly, they waited.

They should have scrubbed the mission there and then, waiting until they had a clear path and bolting. The intel had been wrong once, there was no reason it couldn’t be wrong again. But they made their split second decision, Addax trusting Jamil and her trusting him, and pressed on, more careful but just as determined.

Everything went smoothly as they approached the central lab. They planted the explosives they’d carried and set the timers, with an extra minute to spare in case they ran into more complications. It would be fine, probably, but they were allowed to be a little nervous.

That quickly proved to be a good instinct.

They were barely thirty seconds from the lab when the first siren started blaring. They never were quite able to figure out what went wrong, not exactly willing to revisit in person and ask. It wasn’t necessarily the end of the world, they still had their route and the facility didn’t seem to be in lockdown. There were just many, many more soldiers with guns looking for them than they’d expected.

It had been a while since Addax had danced with a partner like that, under fire, adrenaline pumping, always at each other’s back. The pair didn’t miss a beat, ducking and hiding, shooting and running, always what the moment called for, always in sync.

Even with the extra time, they felt the heat of the explosion at their backs. Security had scrambled several riggers when the alarm was sounded, but they never signed up to face Addax Dawn, Hero of the Diaspora, or, for that matter, Jamil Quartz-Noble. She had found that when she worked with one of the best pilots in the galaxy, her navigation and co-piloting were nearly unmatched. Addax could react to her instruction instantly, which meant she didn’t need to slow herself down, to pick the easy routes, to compensate for errors. They made quick work of their tail and were back to their safe house before the blood had stopped rushing in their ears.

They stepped inside, looked at each other, realized they had both survived, and before Addax could say anything, Jamil had grabbed him by the collar and pressed a kiss to him that was equal parts congratulations and relief. Almost to his own surprise, he returned it with equal fervor, feeling the jitters of adrenaline start to ease out of his system while the euphoria stuck around.

When they broke off, they stared at each other again, smiling and breathing heavy, reveling in just being alive. Jamil had found a bottle of wine earlier that another agent had probably stashed last time they passed through the safe house, and went to retrieve it. The dance they made together that night was no less passionate than the one they’d woven through the base, and they fell asleep sated and tangled among each other.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Addax tried to live his life without regrets. He’d always figured Peace would kill him before he was 30, and now here he was, older than he’d ever thought he’d be and still harboring a very specific bit of regret that came with it.

He wasn’t always thinking about Jace, per se. Like while planning missions, or when he and Jamil managed to steal a moment together (Nothing serious, they assured each other, neither totally confident in their words. Just a pleasant way to unwind after a mission together). He never thought about Jace then. Usually.

Jace Rethal, the man he … ‘loved’ was too strong, right? I mean, they only kissed once. Jace had been his best friend. People love their best friends, right? He loved Jace as his best friend. It hurt less that way.

For ten years he’d been trying to find that man. Since the day he abandoned Peace, Addax had been looking for literally any opportunity to get in touch, to tell him the truth, to explain himself and apologize for making him think they’d lost each other. But he’d had no luck. First the military had him, then the paparazzi, and then one day, he just disappeared. Dropped right off the radar. Withdrew a massive amount of credits and then nothing. Seemed great minds thought alike, unfortunately.

Addax felt a little skeevy for knowing the bit about the credits. The Rapid Evening had eyes and ears everywhere, and it hadn’t taken much effort to have an ongoing trace put in Jace’s major accounts and activities. It hadn’t turned up a damn thing for years, but Addax kept hoping, quietly, unobtrusively.

And then suddenly, there he was.

Addax was sitting in his office when a notice popped up on his screen.

1 NEW ALERT FOR: RETHAL, JACE

Addax felt his heart stop. The system wouldn’t have detected activity that only looked like Jace. He’d set it up himself, considering every possible reason for a false positive he could find. Hand shaking, he opened the alert, and found that Jace’s personal account had been charged to a small pizza shop on Counterweight around 1 PM the day before. A decade. He’d waited quietly for a decade, and now here he was, on Counterweight, eating lunch on a Thursday like he hadn’t been the most sought after person in the galaxy since the war.

Addax laughed. He didn’t know what else to do, so he laughed until it hurt, until it turned to sobs. Fuck, he’d missed him. He’d been trying not to know it but that was impossible now, and he needed him with a full body ache that had been just as hidden.

He wanted to run to him. He wanted to be on Counterweight wherever Jace was and hold him. He so, so, more than anything else, needed this to be real.

Addax knew he wasn’t allowed to cause a scene though. The last thing they needed was for someone to recognize the pair and post a picture somewhere. He hated to do it, but he went through the proper channels. He submitted a request for another field agent on Counterweight to make contact with Jace for him and hopefully set up a meeting. Not necessarily a recruitment offer, he honestly didn’t know if Jace would want anything to do with the Rapid Evening, but more like a quiet hello. Besides, he didn’t really know if Jace would even want to see him. It had been years, after all.

~~~~~~~~~~~

People who knew more about the use of agents than Addax decided that he would have to wait. He’d tried to cash in a couple of favors, but it wasn’t any use. If the day after Jace resurfaced someone walked up to him in a cafe and informed him that a top secret spy agency would like to meet with him, he’d probably go back underground before they got halfway through their introduction.

So Addax waited. He’d waited before, right? This was going to be two weeks max, he could manage that. A decade. He had to keep reminding himself. He’d waited a decade, he could wait two weeks.. He’d be fine. He decided to bug Jamil.

He’d only seen her once since she got back to the base the other night, barely safe after Petrichor had gotten their hands on her. If her friend Aria hadn’t arrived when she had, honestly, Addax didn’t really want to think about it. They’d hugged each other so hard when he’d first got to her he’d been a little worried one of them would pop.

He poked his head into her office, and when she saw the look on his face as he started to explain, she cleared her evening and told him to leave so she’d actually be done by then. Fair enough, he supposed. He pretended to be able to focus on paperwork, nothing too serious. He knew he’d make mistakes if he pressed himself, and there wasn’t a reason in the galaxy good enough to send people to their deaths by carelessness.

Jamil kept a small lounge setup in her office, and that evening saw them sitting together, sipping something strong he’d bought last time he’d been on Counterweight. Addax wasn’t sure what to say. He was sure Jamil had ideas about what was happening, but the last thing he wanted was to start opening up and immediately offend her.

“You and Rethal go back a long way, huh?” she asked, saving him from himself.

“Yeah. We were together through the whole thing. Kept each other strong, you know? I was … kind of worried … that I’d never see him again.”

“You mean a lot to each other. I get that. The tabloids got that too, after the war.” She giggled to herself, and he remembered the headlines. LOVER LOST! HERO JACE RETHAL PINES FOR PARAMOUR. What a load of shit. They’d both been pining for each other, not just him. He appreciated her trying to lighten the mood, though.

“Oh, I remember. It was hard to miss. I’m- I’m excited to see him again. And I hope-,” he took a deep breath, “hope he’s excited too. I hope he’s not angry.”

Jamil took his hand and Addax found himself looking into her eyes as he bit his lip.

“Explain it. Everything, okay? If you mean as much to him as he means to you, he’ll listen. And when you’re done, I’ll still be here, okay?”

He squeezed her hand and nodded. That sounded good, honestly. Both parts. “Thank you.”

She let go of his hand and leaned back, taking the bottle with her as she went. “Now, are you going to help me with this or what?”

“Yeah, yeah I’ve gotcha,” Addax replied. He was glad it was true.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Addax was sitting at the kitchen table of a small, nondescript apartment on Counterweight when someone knocked on the door. ‘Someone’. It was Jace and he knew it in a way that felt physical, but there still needed to be the motions of the thing. ‘Who is it?’ and checking the cameras and all that. He opened the door and there, two feet in front of him, was a ghost. Of course, Jace was thinking the same thing.

“Come on in,” Addax managed after an extra moment. He had his professional voice on, but he still felt like he might choke on the words.

Jace stepped into the room, but didn’t take his eyes from Addax’s face for a second. He hadn’t spoken yet and Addax was starting to worry. When they sat down across from each other, Jace was the first to speak, quietly.

“Addax Dawn. It’s really you, isn’t it?”

“Yeah. Yeah, it sure is,” he replied. Addax was smiling, but he could feel himself holding back an absolute flood of emotion.

There was silence for a moment, and then,

“Why didn’t you tell me? Where have you been? How- How are you …”

“I’m so sorry Jace. I wanted to. I wanted you to come with me but I couldn’t get to you. You don’t just, just quit being a Candidate. If anyone had found me they would have demanded I find her and take her back and I just couldn’t do it anymore. She was- fuck- I wouldn’t be alive right now. And I tried to find a way to tell you, I really did. But suddenly I couldn’t find you. One day you were on the news and the next, gone. I’m sorry.”

He couldn’t look him in the eye by the end. He’d let Jace down, and it showed. The poor man looked hollowed out, face just this side of underweight and muscles sapped away from disuse.

“I couldn’t do it either. I wasn’t- We won the war together but. Everyone was gone. I had an address for Tea and a phone number for Orth and that was about it. I-” Addax was looking at Jace again. He was struggling to say something, and silence seemed to be winning.

Addax stretched his hands out in front of himself on the table. “I’m here, now. Okay? I promise you. And I’m so sorry I wasn’t. I won’t leave you again. Unless you, you want me to.” It hurt to even think about.

Jace hesitated, but gently placed his hand in Addax’s nonetheless. He squeezed, their fingers intertwining, closing his eyes. When he opened them again, he looked Addax dead in the eye.

“Please stay.”

“I will. I- I promise.” Addax could feel his voice trying to give out.

But Jace was smiling now. It was breaking over his face like it was finally catching up with what was happening. They were together. They were both alive, and now they were in the same room holding hands. It was a lot to deal with honestly, as evidenced by the tears Addax felt teetering at the corners of his eyes.

“Can I hug you?” Addax asked. That original urge, the one to find Jace and tackle him to the ground and never let go was rising back up.

Jace just nodded, not trusting himself to speak. Without letting go of each other, Addax stood and walked around the table, gently lifting Jace out of his chair by the hand. When they wrapped their arms around each other, it was like all the pressure Addax hadn’t known was there let itself go at once. He’d been worried, quietly sometimes, but still worried, about Jace for ten years. That was gone now, and he felt something similar leave the other man. They went soft in each other’s arms, yielding, letting down guards that they never wanted to have up in the first place.

Addax realized he was shaking, the tears he’d felt building starting to drip. Jace just held him tighter, soft and comforting and so very, very there. They stayed like that for, he wasn’t sure, minutes probably, but maybe an hour. Eventually, though, they started to let go. Not completely.. Addax’s hands were on Jace’s hips, and Jace had placed one hand on Addax’s side, another on his arm.

“So, tell me about the Rapid Evening?” Jace said, still smiling, still beautiful.

Addax could feel that his eyes were still red, the last traces of tears still on his cheeks. He couldn’t stop smiling though. The Rapid Evening felt so insignificant in that one moment, but at the same time, he wanted to share everything.

“Sure. Sofa?”

They talked late, late, into the night. Addax had so much to say, and though Jace’s story proved relatively short, he was more than happy to listen and think and ask questions. By the time they had exhausted themselves, neither wanted to leave. They spent the night in the same bed, not up to anything, particularly. Okay, maybe they shared a few kisses, just to remember the feeling. But mostly just savoring the feeling of being so close again, of not letting go.

~~~~~~~~~~~

The first time Jamil kissed Jace, Addax wasn’t sure he could be any happier.

The month after they found each other wasn’t perfect, scarred terribly, really, but beautiful despite it. Jace had agreed to join the Evening and was deep into his training regimen, building himself back up and learning their methods. Jamil, after her run-in with Petrichor, had returned to one of the last stronghold the corporation hadn’t found and intended to stay there for a time. Meanwhile the threat of Rigour loomed ahead, definite in its devastation but uncertain in its timing.

All three found themselves in a transitive state, but as it so happened, their strange circumstances meant that they could spend about as much time as they wanted together.

The day after they returned from Counterweight, Addax introduced Jace and Jamil. They took to each other quickly. They also both shot Addax a knowing look at different points in that first conversation, not hard for them to see how fond the other one was of him.

It made Addax happier than he could have imagined to walk into the canteen and see Jace and Jamil already sitting there, talking and laughing. As Addax and Jace trained together, finding after all these years that they still knew each other’s movements by heart, Jamil would pass by and shoot the pair a smile that lit up the room. When Jamil and Addax were up late doing paperwork and planning together, Jace would drop by unannounced with two cups of coffee in hand and a word of encouragement before letting them get back to work. It was really all Addax could have asked for.

Then the September Incident came, and for several hours, they were all worried it might be the end of the world. They had eyes on September (they had eyes everywhere) but that was about it. Calls were made, alerts raised, agents moved. They had to assume that a force which could extinguish life as they knew it was about to start spreading from September. It needed to be blockaded, pushed back, annihilated. That was why they were there, to shut down technology that was too powerful to exist. This moment was why the Rapid Evening existed. And they weren’t ready. They needed to be on the surface already. They needed to have been on the surface a month ago. The reports were coming in with size readings. Addax wasn’t honestly sure it would have mattered when they got there.

But as quickly as it started, the threat disappeared. The Divines on September had banded together, they learned, sealed themselves and Rigour away. The planet had been destabilized in the process, now spinning down the drain. And it had been the Chime, that band of misfits that wouldn’t stop stirring up trouble who were behind the victory. Jamil was ecstatic, more proud of Aria than she could believe. It seemed they would need to consider getting in touch with certain members once things cooled down, but that could wait for now.

They all took off early that night. Monitoring the apocalypse makes you feel like you’ve put in a long day’s work for whatever reason. Jamil kept a nice apartment in a nearby city and invited Addax and Jace over, making it clear that she had wine and a comfortable sofa to share. They laughed and talked and drank, and at some point Addax found himself with Jace tucked under his arm on one side of the sofa with Jamil lounging facing them.

Jace said something that made Addax laugh, it didn’t much matter what, and Addax kissed him. Jace looked surprised, but his grin was big as ever.

Jace almost leaned in for a second kiss, but stopped himself. “We shouldn’t leave anyone out.”

Addax glanced up and saw Jamil’s eyes shining as she looked at them. Jace took her hand and she guided him over until they were in a pile, wrapping their arms around each other as they kissed. Addax felt his heart swell as he watched, not jealous or apart, just so deeply satisfied to see them making each other happy. He’d been somewhat intimidated by the thought before, but he knew he loved them both. In different ways, maybe, and for different reasons, but love all the same.

When they broke off, Jamil peeked past Jace and invited Addax over. He slotted himself in on her other side, one of her arms leaving Jace and curling around him as he placed a hand on her cheek and a kiss on her lips. It was hard to tell after they’d all had a glass of wine, but he was almost certain he could still taste Jace on her lips.

They all looked at each other, faces close, high on still existing, and warm from the wine and each other.

“Do you both want to do this?” Addax asked, speaking quietly, already sharing an intimate space with them. “Because I think I’d really like it if we did this.”

“I know I would,” Jamil said, squeezing them both a little tighter, a little closer to her.

“Me too,” Jace whispered, leaning in for another kiss from both of them.

They stayed like that for a time, piled on each other, not really enough space but not minding anyway. Eventually someone suggested they move to the bed, and the smiles that passed between them were all the discussion they needed. Things moved slow, but that night Jace and Addax found something they’d both needed for a long, long time, Jamil and Jace found something new altogether, and Addax and Jamil discovered a new depth to what they’d already known was there. And as they laid there, all three, sprawled side by side falling asleep, Addax couldn’t help but feel that they’d found something beautiful.


End file.
